Divorce & Remarriage

While some may only see divorce and remarriage as a sign of failure, others may view it in a more positive light. Not all divorce/remarriage stories are bad nor are they all good. I have a few examples of this situation that have impacted my life for eternity.
My mom married young and with that, brought my two oldest brothers into the world. This was such a blessing in her life because she loved and cared for those little boys with every ounce of her being. Although she felt her life was perfect, her marriage took a turn for the worse. After a separation and then a divorce, she did everything she could to take care of her sons. As time continued, not long after, she met a guy through mutual friends. She was set up on a blind date, but little did she know, this guy would be a keeper. This guy is my dad. My mom and dad got married in the spring of 1990. My brothers were only 3 and 2. My dad became their dad. There was no question about it and there is still no question about it. We are sealed together as a family and that is all that matters.
I also have two brothers that have been divorced within the last two years. One of them just got remarried last month and is happier than ever. The other is getting married this month to a woman who has two little boys. He has now taken on that father role, just as our dad did.
Most people don't look at divorce and remarriage as a good thing. I understand that it isn't always a good thing, but I like to view the blessings that can come from it depending on the situation. Divorce and remarriage can be a blessing if the relationship was unhealthy for the spouse or the children.

Fatherhood

As I research and discuss the topic of fatherhood, I am further analysing the relationship I hold with my own father. I have a special relationship with my father, as I am the youngest child, following my five brothers. My father had a huge impact on my own life and also my brothers lives. I often see characteristics, whether good or bad, within myself and also my brothers. Personally, I have seen a profound impact of my father’s example in my life because I have learned how a man should treat me. My father has taught what a gentleman is and how vital it is in a relationship for a man to respect his wife. My father is extremely protective over me. My brothers have gained these traits from our father also, so they too are protective over me. My brothers learned manners and chivalry from our father. Without our father’s impact on us, we would not be the people we are today.

My mother is kind and sweet. She was not as disciplinary as my father was because he took on that responsibility, while my mother was more there for nurturing and comforting. She helped us in our emotional needs. This itself shows how much of an impact a father has on his children. It is important to have these gender roles in a family system because they are separate and extremely different.

New Beginnings

Having a happy relationship is tough work, having a baby is tough work, but keeping a happy relationship after the baby is even tougher work. That is why it is so vital to build a happy relationship before the baby comes. First, it is crucial to go on dates. Whether you have been married for 1 month or 10 years. Dating lets you communicate with your spouse and spend time together, rather than just sitting on the couch and watching a lame TV show every single night. Dates don’t have to cost a lot of money, in fact, creative and cheap dates are more fun and way more memorable. Date before, during, and after baby to keep that strong bond between you. Second is expressing yourself in words. It is super important to do this because you never want to make your husband feel unappreciated. Don’t let him wonder what is running through your mind. Tell him why you love him and express to him your worries. Third, ask for help. It is not a sin to ask for help, whether it is from your husband, friend, or family. When asking, be kind. No one wants to help you if you’re snappy and rude. Especially your husband. Explain to him why you need help and what needs to be done and I’m sure he will be happy to help you. Fourth, make “me time”. Make time for yourself to do something you enjoy. Being stuck at home with a screaming child all day would make anyone cranky. Whether it is a yoga class, lunch with friends, or naptime, you need to keep your sanity to keep a happy relationship with your husband. Lastly, don’t forget your husband. I know you will be mesmerized by that tiny infant, but your husband needs attention too. Spend time together with your baby and let him bond with the baby also. Letting him have insight to what you are feeling for that baby will give both of you the chance to feel closer to each other because you both created this sweet little baby and are in this together. Don’t let your love for your husband get pushed to the side.

Culture

Culture is a very important aspect an anyone's life. Everyone has their own culture even if they are apart of the same family. The oldest child would grow up with different experiences than the youngest child. I have five older brothers and I can vouch for the fact that I was raised a little bit different than all of my brothers. Some cultures are kept and some are lost. I have many traditions that I still follow and many that I'm sure we lost over time. Family culture can be kept by getting together with other family that share your culture or preserving it on your own. Culture can be affected by location, peers, work, etc.. Culture can be hard to hold onto when someone gets married because they are trying to intertwine their cultures. This can be a challenge, but it's important to find balance and figure out what traditions and culture will work best for that particular relationship.

Just a Theory

What are some theories involving the family? Let's see...
First, there's a theory about structure. How are we structured? We are all raised in a different societies that affect us in different ways. Children especially learn from their society, like school, because they soak it up the most. This is the most important time in their lives because this is when they are truly structured. Families as a whole are structured by their surrounding people and resources.
Second, is the symbolic theory. Unless you are part of the same family, no one is raised the same way. We learn our mannerisms, habits, etc. from our family. We are all diverse in our symbols that we portray.
Third, are conflict theories.Conflict can include feminism, racism, profiling, or just straight hatred. Every family can have conflict within each other or outside of the family. Society today causes huge conflicts that can attack the family unity, but it is important to stick together as a family and remain strong in your beliefs.
In conclusion, the family is important to society. The way children are raised impacts future generations and leaders. These theories are important to research and understand so that we can all strive to gain better insight to the family.

Multiply, and Replenish the Earth

     "And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth." (Genesis 1: 28)
     If this is a commandment, why aren't we following it? In modern society, there is a debate on how many children a woman/couple should have. Why are people leaving it up to society to judge this? Shouldn't this decision come from a higher source then your next door neighbor? 
     Many people believe that having 1-2 children is enough because they don't want to be outnumbered, they don't believe they have enough money, or simply because it's too much work. Why are we limited ourselves to only a few of the blessings and opportunities that the Lord has in store for us? 
     The population of the world is decreasing immensely because many older people are dying and we aren't 'replacing' them with new life. This is very sad. By limiting ourselves to 1 or 2 children we lose generations of people.
     So when considering how many children to have just remember that it's not entirely up to you and your spouse. This is a topic to discuss with the Lord. We shall prayerfully follow the commandment to "multiply, and replenish the earth".

Just the Beginning

Hello fellow reader! My name is Brailey Ellis and I am currently a student at Brigham Young University - Idaho, majoring in Family and Consumer Sciences. I created this blog to provide information and generate conversion regarding the family. Feel free to contact me by email. Have a wonderful day!